Not the flu...definitely not the flu...

Well folks, here it is - the blog post that I thought would never happen!

BOOM! That just happened. That little sea monkey is snuggled up nice and warm and making me sick as a dog! Remember me Facebook status a couple weeks back - the one where I thought I had the flu for like 3 weeks? Yeah...not the flu. I finally went to the doctor, expecting to come home with antibiotics or something, and instead I find out I'm pregnant!

Totally unexpected. Complete shocker. And SOOOO exciting!

6 years of trying, 1 IUI, 2 IVFs, 2 adoption agencies, and foster care. This is our little miracle baby.

We were so excited to start sharing the news, and of course Melinda, Robbie, and Graham were the first to know. Graham is so cute, he seems to have really grasped the idea that there is a baby somewhere inside me and he loves to tell me about it all the time. I finally got it on video...

We drove to California this weekend so that we could share the news with our family. We told my parents and my little brother Lucas at like 1am on Friday night (we showed them the video of Graham). The reaction was priceless, so I just have to share it!

We also shared the news with all of the rest of our family - Mark's parents, our siblings, all of our closest friends. Everyone has been so excited, it's been really fun!

It still doesn't even feel real...except when I'm throwing up all day every day ;)

Give Him Wings & Let Him Fly

This past Saturday we dropped C off to live with his dad! Oh how sad it was. But we had a really good week leading up to it! We had a super fun going-away party on Monday with Melinda, Robbie & Graham, and with the Bonhams. We had balloons and dinner and decorated sugar cookies! It was a great setting for the Bonhams to say their good-byes. They have been so supportive and loving of C, so it was important that they got their own special opportunity to spend time with him.

Throughout the rest of the week we had people stop by to give lots of hugs and kisses to C, and it was really nice. We had LOTS of FaceTime with our family out of state family. We had tons of family time, staying up late, watching movies, and playing playing playing!

Mark and I bought a special book to send with C. It's a book that perfectly describes our love for C and we wrote a message on the inside cover, and hopefully it's something he can keep forever. I thought about taking a picture so that I could post it on here...but in the end, I felt like it was just too personal and sensitive to share those thoughts with everyone.

The book is called "Love You When".... http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/love-you-when-linda-kranz/1110061035?ean=9781589797031

I washed all of his tiny socks and tiny shirts. Carefully packed up his special toys and his blanket. And then closed his bedroom door so that I didn't have to look at the bag sitting there!

Saturday morning we got in the car and cried all the way to drop him off. Rough. That's one way to explain it. The drop-off didn't take long, but his dad was emotional and did thank us for taking such good care of him. Even being so little, C still knew something wasn't right. He's not used to seeing us cry like that, so he just sat there looking very concerned. That was hard to see. I hope that he had sweet little angels to help calm and reassure him.

What a sweet boy he is, and we miss him so much!

We have no regrets, and we wouldn't have changed anything. But this was all a huge learning experience for us and there are things we will do differently next time.

But in the end we feel like we did exactly what we were meant to do - we gave him the love and nurtured him, helped him to grow and heal, and then we let him go! Yes it is extremely difficult (even harder than we ever expected), but how rewarding it has been. We have grown so much. Learned so much. This little boy stole our hearts from the moment we laid eyes on him...he will always be "our son"...he made us parents. We will always cherish his sweet spirit in our home.

Heart of the Fathers to the Children

** Guest post! My sweet hubby decided he wanted to try his hand at blogging! Enjoy :) ***

For the first year we lived it Utah, I did not know what really brought us here. I took a huge pay cut, I hated my job, and I wished I was around my friends in AZ. It wasn't until we lived here for a year that I realized that there were people that I need to be around to learn from and serve. Gaining stronger relationships with family, building friendships that are as strong as family, and caring for chandler. If it wasn't for moving to Utah, I never would have learned how to be more Christ like from Chandler and that is a gift that is worth more than anything I could ever buy (even a new iPhone).

This last year, Brittany and I had an experience that I will never forget. In the Bible, Malachi 4:6 says, “And He shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers..." Foster care has done that and more for me. As Chandler came into our lives, my heart has turned to him to teach me how to be a better man. As I learned to love Chandler as my own child, I learned how to be more like the Savior and to love everyone, no matter what the circumstances.

On August 3, 2012, Brittany and I were at a movie with Melinda, Robbie, Meghan, and Brad. Up until that point, Brittany and I had done multiple infertility treatments that failed. We had tried adopting, which turned out to be unsuccessful so far. But through all of this, we still had faith that Heavenly Father had something special in mind for us. What we didn’t know, was where He would lead us. At this time, all we could do was practice faith because our spirits were getting discouraged, our hope was dwindling. During the movie a phone call came. As I listened to the message that a social worker with DCFS left, a burst of joy and excitement went through me. There was a little boy that was 11 months old that had been taken to Primary Children’s Hospital. He was malnourished, unbathed, and poor in spirit. We willingly said that we would take him into our home to help him. What we didn’t know, was how much he would actually be helping us.

For the first few days that we had "C", we could tell that he was down in spirit. As we worked with him, loved him, and cared for him, his spirit began to change. Here we were, with this precious child, hoping to do all that we could in order to help him learn and grow, to feel the Holy Spirit, and to feel loved. As time went on, I learned that C was in our home to teach us.

As we attended court hearings, visitations, meetings with social workers, and visits with his birth parents, I took special note that I had a lot to learn. These people were rough around the edges. They were in and out of prison for drug abuse, domestic violence, and now neglecting an innocent child. How could they do this? How could someone be so selfish to let a child - a baby - go without the basics in life? How could they let a child go without food, or be there to soothe him when crying, change his diapers, teach him the basics in life? How could they not teach him how to play peek-a-boo, climb the stairs, or laugh at all of the things that people do to get a baby to laugh?

At first, I could not believe that someone could do this to such an innocent child. My love for C was immediate and strong. I thought I had everything I needed in order to give him the things that he missed out on during the first 11 months of his life. What I didn’t know was that I was missing the pure love of Christ. I was so judgmental of others that I could not help them because of my selfishness. I saw them as being the “bad guys” in the story.

As time went on, and visits increased, I continued in my ways. I saw "M" [dad] and "T" [mom] as the bad guys. It wasn’t until 5 months after we got C that I realized that I needed to change. And C was to help me through this change so that I could be more Christ like, more willing to accept others for who they are, and less likely to judge others because I think I know the whole story. C looked at everyone he interacted with as a joy in his life. His best friend Graham taught him how to climb the stairs, how to golf with a spoon (or any device that could be used like a golf club). Graham and C are best friends and did so much together. Every member of the family that he met became someone that he immediately loved. He would give each person a snuggle, even his cousins in California and Arizona that he was only around for a few days. To him, there was no evil in someone. He would not even look at his own mother - who would come to the visits "impaired" - and not see the good in her. He loved EVERYONE.

C is just like the Savior and loves everyone that he meets. As I recognized this, I realized that this is what the pure love of Christ is. This is charity at its fullest. I was beginning to look to C to learn from his sweet spirit, his selfless actions, and his joy and love for others. My heart was turning to C so that I could be more Christ like and love others as he does.

As time went by, I began to pray with Brittany and C that we could see his birth parents differently. I wanted to see them as Christ sees them. T [mom] then asked Brittany if we would adopt C. This immediately changed how I saw her. Even though the option of adopting C was far off, I immediately looked at T as someone who needed help. She has serious struggles in her life, and knew she could not care for him. As we met with M [dad] more, I realized that instead of trying to do all that I could to keep C from him, I needed to offer words of encouragement so that he would have the confidence he needs when C was living with him again. He began to open up to us. As he did this we opened up to him. This gave me peace.

While our time C has been short, I have learned more about being a charitable person. As I have changed, I have learned to be more forgiving of others and accept them for who they are, not what they do. Because of C, I now see others the way I think that the Savior sees them, capable of so much.

I will never forget all of the fun that we had along the way. We went to the lake with the Woods and Jaidyn, 2 trips to California to see the Cathey and Altmyer grandparents, cousins and aunts and uncles. We had almost daily interactions with Melinda and Robbie so that C and Graham could play. We went sledding, saw Santa Clause, went to Discover Gateway, went to the air museum, and walked City Creek over and over again. All of this was done while hoping that we could adopt him, but realizing that Heavenly Father has a different plan for C. What was most important to us from the beginning was helping him feel the spirit so that if we could not adopt him, he would be able to recognize the feeling of the Holy Ghost later in life and find his way back to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Every night we would read a book, sing “Families Can Be Together Forever”, and pray together. C loved this routine and always slept better when we made sure that this happened. I know that he felt the Spirit and was being taught through it. I hope that he recognizes these feelings later in life.

As I have prepared for this week, I have built up anxiety. I sometimes try to numb those feelings by thinking of something else, but I know that on Saturday C will be living with his dad again. What has been most precious to me is the love that family members and friends have displayed. This week we have been able to spend a little extra time with family and friends that all care for us and C to celebrate his time with us. The spirit of love and service has been felt during this week.

C is my first son. He will never be forgotten and I look forward to what is ahead. I don’t know if C will return to our home in this life, but I do know and look forward to when I can embrace him in Heaven and thank him for teaching me so much.

Thanks for reading,
Mark

D-Day

Well, the final plans have been made. We will have our sweet little C only until next Saturday.

*sigh*

I'm really torn with this post, because we have worked really hard to come to terms with C leaving us...but still, it's terribly heartbreaking.

We love this little guy so much, and we have such high hopes for his future. We pray everyday that he will never have to go without again. That he will always be loved and cared for.

One thing that is making this whole thing easier is that we have seen a change in C's heart. Up until a week or two ago C still did not display the kind of attachment that was needed for him to be placed back with his father. This was not only observed by us, but also by all of the social workers that are involved in his case. But last week I decided to hang around for a few minutes when I was dropping him off for one of his visits and something strange was staring me right in the face: C had bonded with his father. In fact, he paid me no attention at all! He was so happy and content to be there with him, it made my heart full. I was so grateful to be able to witness this transformation. What a blessing for all of us. A tender mercy.

So while this still isn't easy for us, we are at least prepared. We will definitely cry, and feel like our home is eerily quiet and clean. But it will be okay, and we will jump back into the Foster Care game. We'll take a little break - go on a vacation or something. But by summertime we'll be opening our home (and our hearts) once again.

What a fantastic adventure this has been. We feel lucky to have been part of sweet little C's life.

Until next time...here is some picture overload :)

Foster Care: Facing the Reality

Let's just start with this well-known fact about me: I'm an incredibly emotional creature. My emotions cut deep into my soul. This is why when I see a lost dog it makes me want to cry, or why I make care-kits to hand out to homeless people, and it's why we are doing Foster Care. I can feel the emotions of others, and I take those on as my own.

I know how many children are suffering - hungry, cold, abused, neglected, homeless...those children just need a break. They need a break from their reality. They need a safe, soft, warm place to land with a mom and a dad (and aunts, and uncles, and cousins, and grandparents, and friends...) who will love them unconditionally. They need to know what it feels like to always wake up in the same bed, in the same house, with the same friendly and loving faces to greet them. Food on the table, warm clothes on their bodies, and consistency.

They need someone to kiss their owies and wipe away their tears. Take them to the doctor when they are sick, and give them extra snuggles. Someone to give them a bath at 2am after they throw up all over themselves. And someone to give them guidance, and help them to overcome the challenges they have faced in life.

The basic needs of every child.

So this is why I love Foster Care, because it gives me (and Mark) a chance to temporarily provide for those children. And for Mark and I, it fulfills our incredible desire to have children. It is fulfilling for us, and it is rewarding to those children that we are able to love. They will forever be in our hearts, and in our homes.

So, here we are...

We've had our little C for 6 months now. I can't remember if I've ever talked about this here, but the night we got C we were told not to accept the placement unless we were prepared to adopt him - that the situation he was coming from was such that he would not be able to return home. So when I first laid eyes on him, it was like I was looking at my son. We immediately took him on as our own, and we bonded overnight. This is of course exactly what C needed - someone to love him, but it was a bad choice for our hearts.

About two weeks later is when we found out that there would be a reunification plan with C's parents. Since then we have continued to love him just the same, because honestly, you can't really just stop loving this sweet little guy. He stole our hearts!

He's had all of his major milestones with us - his first birthday, standing, walking, talking,  feeding himself, building his first lego tower, having his first best friend, going to his first rodeo, getting his first haircut...I could go on. But I think you get the picture. We've celebrated with him, and we have soaked in every minute of it.

But today the final steps have been made to transition C to live with his dad (his mom asked us if we would adopt him, but unfortunately his dad does not feel the same way). We will have at minimum two more weeks with him, but at most a month.

I've already started grieving. I can feel the loss and it hasn't even happened yet. I know that there is nothing we can do about the situation, it is not up to us, however I can't help but feel like I've just done something horrible. C is going to wake up wondering where we are -why did we leave him. Will he think that we don't love him? Will he think that he has been abandoned again? Will they know all of the baby sign language that he uses? Will they know that he needs to have hot sauce on his scrambled eggs? That when he cries in the morning it means he wants his milk and to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse? Will they tuck him in the right way? Will they sing to him and read him his favorite story before bed? But most of all...will they love him the way that we love him? I can only pray that they will.

My heart is plagued with guilt, and I know there will be many sleepless nights to come. So as I prepare all of his tiny shirts, and tiny shoes, and his favorite toys and books to go with him - I will also be praying for a miracle.

But until then, we will be cherishing all of the sweet little moments that we have with him. Let him stay up a little later...eat a few more cookies...rock him to sleep even when I have a mountain of laundry to do...kiss his dirty little face before I wipe it clean...try to bottle up every sound, every smell, every smile, every laugh...tuck them away someplace safe...so that whenever my heart aches I can go back to that sweet little boy and feel his little arms around my neck.

And such is the life of Foster Parents. It's time to face the reality.

August 3, 2012

 I figure its time to post something to get everyone caught up.

PART ONE

We got a call around 10:30pm on August 3rd that there was a 1 year old boy at the Children's Hospital who needed to be placed with a foster family. We were just walking out of a movie...it was Total Recall. The movie was awful, seriously. So dumb.

Anyways, we rushed home to get a few things then headed out to Salt Lake. We picked him up in the children's ER. It was really late at that point, and he was sleeping. So we just got all the neccessary info, put him in the car, and headed home! The first few days were really rough. I'm sure C was scared, and confused, and at 11 months he couldn't understand. It was really difficult to try and figure out what things he liked to eat, did he take a bottle, did he like to have a binkie, did he have a sleep schedule...? He was afraid of the bath, he didn't take a bottle, he was dehydrated, hungry, constipated, and so so tired. So we just snuggled him, and tried to give him plenty of juice, formula, and baby food. After a few days we cut the baby food out completely and he just ate solid foods. He gained 6 lbs in the first 10 days that he was in our home, and by the second week he was getting into somewhat of a routine. Nap times were still terrible, and I couldn't figure out what to do. After a month or so we finally got him on a real sleep routine and he is MUCH happier!

The first night, right after we got home...

 


PART TWO

I wish I could post a pic of his sweet little face. He has the most perfect complexion...(Cherokee Indian, coming from his mother's side, and Caucasian from his father)...perfectly smooth olive skin, with BIG blue eyes. With his long, long black eyelashes and full eyebrows. I do think he's going to have a bit of an eyebrow situation when he gets older. Gonna have to handle those LOL He has perfectly dark pink lips, and as of today, he has six teeth! When we got him he only had his two front bottom teeth, now he has three on top and three on the bottom.

At the rodeo, about a week after having C placed with us...

His favorite activities include: eating everything in sight, blowing kisses, dancing, pulling the dog's tail, riding his "bike", taking walks in the stroller, eating grass/rocks/wood chips, swinging high, and being tickled. He also LOVES to play with his "cousin" Graham. Best buddies. Graham's name for C is something like "Chandoooo"...it's the cutest thing ever.

 
His biggest, most recent, accomplishment is walking!! He took his first steps, on his own, earlier this week. He also started saying "Uh oh!" this week too. He will RAWR like a dinosaur, and he's got the K part of "truck" ;)

His favorite foods are: everything.

LOL But he really loves: yogurt, scrambled eggs with ketchup, black beans, burritos, mashed potatoes, mac n cheese, Doritos, cheese, fruit snacks, spaghetti, peanut butter sandwiches, and ANYTHING that could be considered a dessert. He has only ever refused one food: strawberries. He would devour an entire piece of fish before he would swallow one bite of a strawberry. Odd.

He loves Beamer (our dog), and Beamer certainly loves him too! With a constant flow of goldfish, cheese sticks, and Teddy Grahams falling on the floor...what's not to love?! Eh, at least it saves me from having to clean it up.

C is also COMPLETELY in love with Mark. He gets soooo excited when he see Mark in the morning, or when we visit him at work, or when Mark gets home from work. He kicks his legs and squeals "dada! dada!" But I don't blame him, I think Mark is pretty awesome too. (I'm pretty sure that C's father must have been the primary caretaker, because C is really drawn to men...and "dada" is not something we taught him, he was already babbling "dada" from the time he was placed with us).  

 (ignore the black bars on the sides of some of the pics, I don't know what that's all about...)

I think these would have to be my top 3 favorite parts of the day:

1.) Picking C up out of his crib in the morning, and having him immediately snuggle deep down into my neck
2.) Watching him climb up on top of Mark in the morning and say "DADADADA!!!" to wake him up. And there's an occasional hit to the face or sippy cup chucked at his forehead. But Mark loves it ;)
3.) Seeing him kick his legs and squeal in delight when "dada" comes home from work

And then there's the comments from strangers like "Oh he has your blue eyes!" or "Are they twins/brothers?" (referring to C and Graham). Hahaha Gotta love it. Of course my response is always "Thank you!" or "They're cousins!"

PART THREE

Now, I know everyone wants to know the latest on his parent's situation...but I really don't feel like its appropriate to post those details on here. They have their struggles in life, but they deserve to have some privacy to the details their lives.

But the simple breakdown is like this:

1.) Both parents have 8 months to complete several steps that will lead them to an addiction-free life, permanent housing, jobs, and necessary life and parenting skills. We are currently 3 months into those 8 months, and they still have a long road ahead of them.

2.) Each parent gets 1 hour a week to visit with C. Whether or not they choose to show up to those visits...well, that's up to them.

3.) Our next court date is December 19th.

4.) If both parents are unable or unwilling to complete step 1, then the judge will make C "legally free" for adoption. This just means that the parental rights will be terminated, and DCFS and the judge will begin the process of deciding who will adopt C.

5.) Mark and I are NOT given preference for adoption. First preference will go to direct kinship (so far, the only kinship that has come forward are in other states). Next, the family that adopted C's siblings (years ago) will have the option to adopt. BUT (this is where is gets a bit tricky), there is a chance that the judge would allow us to adopt C instead of him going to the family who adopted his siblings. There are many reasons why, but basically it comes down to the fact that C has never had a relationship with those siblings, and to place him there would create a huge disruption in his life (removing him from us) and in those kids' lives too (having another kid thrown into the mix).

6.) There are WAY too many things that may or may not happen for us to know right now how this will end up. We don't think a whole lot about the future, we try to just live in the moment and enjoy C. Sometimes comments like "I hope he doesn't have to leave your family" or "He is so much better off with you guys" can trigger an emotional response. We don't like to think about those things, it makes us too sad.

A hike to donut falls...

So, just try to stick with us and live in the moment!! :) We are on the Lord's errand, and we feel incredibly fulfilled. We have purpose to our days. We have a tiny little life who, even temporarily, relies on us completely.

Most days I feel like I am doing everything wrong, and that I should and could be doing a lot better. I definitely get frustrated, cry, and wonder what the heck I'm doing. I wish that I more patient, that I knew how to respond better to things that seem completely foreign to me. And just when I'm starting to lose it and sit on the floor and cry, this sweet little guy will come crawling over to me, give me his biggest baby grin, and reach for me. Then I know, I'm doing alright. He loves me, he trusts me, and he is happy. I'm doing my best.

(seriously, I don't know what's up with the black bars on the sides of the pics...)

C may not stay in our home forever, but he will most definitely stay in our hearts forever. His pictures will never come off of our walls, he is a permanent fixture in our home.

"His time may not be our time, but He will always keep his promises" President Eyring

Utah State Fair...

Park City...

Fall Festival in Heber...

Adoption Charity

It's no secret how expensive adoption is.

Most infertile couples have two options when it comes to starting their family : IVF or Adoption. Over the past 5 years Mark and I have tried our hand at both adoption (private and with LDSFS) and IVF. Last year we did two rounds of IVF, with no success.

Today we are back in the adoption swing of things, and we are so excited! We've both decided that IVF is NOT something we ever want to go back to, and we love that we can focus all of our efforts on building our family through adoption.

Private adoptions done through a licensed adoption agency in the US will range from $15,00-$40,000+ (depending on a variety of factors including travel between states, attorney fees, and medical fees for the expectant mother and the baby). I wish that adoption wasn't so expensive...I wish that every deserving family could adopt a precious little baby with fees that were reasonable. I wish that medical costs related to adoption were covered by our health insurance. I wish that all employers offered an Adoption Assistance Program.

The down and dirty fact of the matter is this: ADOPTIVE FAMILIES ARE GOING INTO DEBT.

We don't want to go into debt, not if we don't have to. That is why we have spent the better part of the last few months begging for money from our family members LOL! Okay, maybe not begging, but we definitely asked. And today we are in a much better position (financially, money in the savings account) than we were 3 months ago.

But here's the thing...we still don't have enough.

I wish that we could sell our cars, shut off our cell phones, never watch TV, and eat ramen noodles every night until we have the money saved. But honestly, that's not realistic. We do our absolute best, but just like most of you reading this - we live paycheck to paycheck. Being a grown up sucks.

Alright, let me get to it already...we are fundraising. We had several hundred wristbands made (you now, the silicone ones...think "Livestrong") and we are going to be selling them.

They are red, and they have the wording "Adoption: Love Makes A Family" on them. They are going to be $5 each, or whatever you feel comfortable donating. There will be a page on our business website (advancehomefitness.com) where you can make the purchase using PayPal.

Our hope is that we can raise WAY more money that what we actually need to finish saving for our adoption. Our goal is to not only help ourselves, BUT TO HELP OTHER ADOPTIVE COUPLES. We want to donate the excess (not used by us for our adoption) to another financially needy adoptive couple.

SO, the page will be up and running on our website by the end of the day. The wristbands will be hand-delivered or mailed to you the week of August 6th.

{{AS OF 3:30 pm, THE WRISTBANDS ARE READY FOR PURCHASE!}}

http://www.advancehomefitness.com/Charitable-Causes.html

PLEASE please please go buy one. Or two. Or 50. haha

Thank you SO much, we love everyone who has helped us so much through this journey. XOXO

Nursery Craft Time!

Yes, it is true...we have a nursery. No baby. But we have a nursery.

We have the crib, and the dresser, and the glider...and now we have some super cute box shelves and a rocking chair! The shelves we had from before, they used to be in our guest room (but now we don't have a guest room because we have a nursery). The rocking chair was mine when I was very small...and Mark has been getting on me for months about doing something with it (or he wanted to throw it away! Ugh!). I had started to sand it down last summer and I was going to stain it dark, but then I realized that was a MUCH bigger task than I had originally planned. So it sat there...and sat there...and now here we are a year later and it was still sitting (wow, talk about procrastination). Finally I decided to paint it. Spray paint it. It was SO easy and literally took me like 10 minutes.

The box shelves were already black, I just used some painters tape to create a striped design on one and a chevron print on the other. Then spray painted. Let it dry and peeled the tape off! Bam!

I had the nursery made gender neutral to begin with, because the primary use of it was for foster care. We still don't know if we will end up adopting a boy or a girl, but we want to have a circus theme. So the colors we are going with are bright orange, yellow, lime green, and (depending on if we adopt a boy or a girl) blue or bright pink. So anyways, I painted the shelves yellow and the chair green. The gender-specific colors will come into play in the bumper (which Mark's mom is going to make for us), and a few things that we will hang on the walls.

Here are a few ideas that I've found on Pinterest...

Now, to find that baby! ;) xoxo

It's Confession Time...

Today I parked in the "Expectant Mother" parking spot at BuyBuyBaby.

I also purchased diapers. They smell like baby.

And wipes.

And onesies.

I *might* have a slight obsession with girl clothes.

Oh yeah, and a bottle. But just one.

There, I said it! I gotta be honest, it is kind of weird buying baby stuff. Especially when you don't have a baby. I feel like a weirdo. But then I remind myself that it needs to be done, and that I am indeed NOT a weirdo, because adoption can happen FAST. Take the situation we were presented with two weeks ago- that sweet little baby was presented to us on Wednesday and needed to come home on Friday. And had we adopted him, I would have been completely unprepared (we didn't have a car seat, diapers, nothing...). So here I am buying baby stuff (and fending off all of the employees who kept asking me if I was purchasing items for someone's registry...NO).

Anyways...to justify my parking spot I had a conversation with myself that went something like this..."Well it says 'Expectant Mother' and I am expectant...I'm just not EXPECTING." For the diapers, wipes, and bottle (just one bottle, because it's kind of the non-committal way of preparing)...I figured it would be best to have those on hand so that I don't have to feel like I need to rush to the store while we're on the way to the hospital to get the baby. And the onesies...well...mostly I just can't resist myself. LOL Don't worry, I kept the receipts so that I can return the girl stuff if we adopt a boy (and vice-versa).

Last week while my parents were visiting they also purchased the car seat we wanted! And here's another confession: I took the car seat out of the box and kept it in the living room for like 5 days simply because I like to look at it :) And here is a confession for Mark (ha!)...on multiple occasions he has pretended to pick up "the baby" out of the car seat all like "Aww little baby you're so cute" HAHAH I love it. He's the best.

Alright, confession time is over! I hope you don't think I'm a crazy lady now...

Spreading the Word: A How-To-Guide

We've been getting a lot of questions lately about how people should be spreading the word about Mark and I wanting to adopt. For example, let's say you have a friend who approaches you and says "I just found out I'm pregnant, and I'm think I am going to place the baby for adoption." Now what? What do you say? Where do you send them? Here is our How-To-Guide!

"My friend/co-worker/girl I know is pregnant"

1.) First, find out (gently and politely) if she is planning on, or even considering, placing the baby for adoption. If she is, then let her know that you know a couple who is looking to adopt. If she is not ready to talk about it (sometimes it is just too early to be thinking about something like that for an expectant mother...I know if it were me I'd be in complete shock and wouldn't even know what I was going to do. Anyways, give them a few weeks or a couple months to get more comfortable with the idea, then talk to them about it again).

**Expectant mothers who are looking to place their child for adoption do not have to work with an adoption agency (although it is an option)...if she finds an adoptive family on her own then the adoptive family would hire an attorney and they would complete all of the legalities that way.**

2.) You could let her know a bit about us, depending on how well you know us, and then suggest she look at our blog. Give her this link: mark-brittaltmyer.blogspot.com. She can look through all of our info, posts, and pics without feeling like she has to commit to anything.

3.) Then if she feels like she wants to contact us further, she can email us at balty06@me.com.

"I don't know anyone who is looking to place their baby for adoption, but I want to help spread the word!"

1.) Share our link on Facebook! This is the fastest and most efficient way of reaching out to your hundreds of FB friends (and if you have your friends also share the link, and so on and so on...then it really starts to spread!). When you share our blog link make sure that you say something like, "Hey! Check out my friend's blog. They are an awesome couple hoping to adopt."

2.) Spotlight us on your blog. If you have a blog, make a blog post about us and then share it on your Facebook page.

3.) Follow our blog. If you have a blog, you can follow our blog (the link is on the right hand side of our blog, I believe it says "Follow This Site") and then your blog friends will be more likely to check out our blog as well.

But most of all, just keep us in the back of your mind! That way if you ever hear of a situation, we will be the first people you think of! And when you do come across someone who is looking to place, send us a Facebook message, email, or text to let us know that you are sharing our info :)

Ready, set, go spread the word!