August 3, 2012

 I figure its time to post something to get everyone caught up.

PART ONE

We got a call around 10:30pm on August 3rd that there was a 1 year old boy at the Children's Hospital who needed to be placed with a foster family. We were just walking out of a movie...it was Total Recall. The movie was awful, seriously. So dumb.

Anyways, we rushed home to get a few things then headed out to Salt Lake. We picked him up in the children's ER. It was really late at that point, and he was sleeping. So we just got all the neccessary info, put him in the car, and headed home! The first few days were really rough. I'm sure C was scared, and confused, and at 11 months he couldn't understand. It was really difficult to try and figure out what things he liked to eat, did he take a bottle, did he like to have a binkie, did he have a sleep schedule...? He was afraid of the bath, he didn't take a bottle, he was dehydrated, hungry, constipated, and so so tired. So we just snuggled him, and tried to give him plenty of juice, formula, and baby food. After a few days we cut the baby food out completely and he just ate solid foods. He gained 6 lbs in the first 10 days that he was in our home, and by the second week he was getting into somewhat of a routine. Nap times were still terrible, and I couldn't figure out what to do. After a month or so we finally got him on a real sleep routine and he is MUCH happier!

The first night, right after we got home...

 


PART TWO

I wish I could post a pic of his sweet little face. He has the most perfect complexion...(Cherokee Indian, coming from his mother's side, and Caucasian from his father)...perfectly smooth olive skin, with BIG blue eyes. With his long, long black eyelashes and full eyebrows. I do think he's going to have a bit of an eyebrow situation when he gets older. Gonna have to handle those LOL He has perfectly dark pink lips, and as of today, he has six teeth! When we got him he only had his two front bottom teeth, now he has three on top and three on the bottom.

At the rodeo, about a week after having C placed with us...

His favorite activities include: eating everything in sight, blowing kisses, dancing, pulling the dog's tail, riding his "bike", taking walks in the stroller, eating grass/rocks/wood chips, swinging high, and being tickled. He also LOVES to play with his "cousin" Graham. Best buddies. Graham's name for C is something like "Chandoooo"...it's the cutest thing ever.

 
His biggest, most recent, accomplishment is walking!! He took his first steps, on his own, earlier this week. He also started saying "Uh oh!" this week too. He will RAWR like a dinosaur, and he's got the K part of "truck" ;)

His favorite foods are: everything.

LOL But he really loves: yogurt, scrambled eggs with ketchup, black beans, burritos, mashed potatoes, mac n cheese, Doritos, cheese, fruit snacks, spaghetti, peanut butter sandwiches, and ANYTHING that could be considered a dessert. He has only ever refused one food: strawberries. He would devour an entire piece of fish before he would swallow one bite of a strawberry. Odd.

He loves Beamer (our dog), and Beamer certainly loves him too! With a constant flow of goldfish, cheese sticks, and Teddy Grahams falling on the floor...what's not to love?! Eh, at least it saves me from having to clean it up.

C is also COMPLETELY in love with Mark. He gets soooo excited when he see Mark in the morning, or when we visit him at work, or when Mark gets home from work. He kicks his legs and squeals "dada! dada!" But I don't blame him, I think Mark is pretty awesome too. (I'm pretty sure that C's father must have been the primary caretaker, because C is really drawn to men...and "dada" is not something we taught him, he was already babbling "dada" from the time he was placed with us).  

 (ignore the black bars on the sides of some of the pics, I don't know what that's all about...)

I think these would have to be my top 3 favorite parts of the day:

1.) Picking C up out of his crib in the morning, and having him immediately snuggle deep down into my neck
2.) Watching him climb up on top of Mark in the morning and say "DADADADA!!!" to wake him up. And there's an occasional hit to the face or sippy cup chucked at his forehead. But Mark loves it ;)
3.) Seeing him kick his legs and squeal in delight when "dada" comes home from work

And then there's the comments from strangers like "Oh he has your blue eyes!" or "Are they twins/brothers?" (referring to C and Graham). Hahaha Gotta love it. Of course my response is always "Thank you!" or "They're cousins!"

PART THREE

Now, I know everyone wants to know the latest on his parent's situation...but I really don't feel like its appropriate to post those details on here. They have their struggles in life, but they deserve to have some privacy to the details their lives.

But the simple breakdown is like this:

1.) Both parents have 8 months to complete several steps that will lead them to an addiction-free life, permanent housing, jobs, and necessary life and parenting skills. We are currently 3 months into those 8 months, and they still have a long road ahead of them.

2.) Each parent gets 1 hour a week to visit with C. Whether or not they choose to show up to those visits...well, that's up to them.

3.) Our next court date is December 19th.

4.) If both parents are unable or unwilling to complete step 1, then the judge will make C "legally free" for adoption. This just means that the parental rights will be terminated, and DCFS and the judge will begin the process of deciding who will adopt C.

5.) Mark and I are NOT given preference for adoption. First preference will go to direct kinship (so far, the only kinship that has come forward are in other states). Next, the family that adopted C's siblings (years ago) will have the option to adopt. BUT (this is where is gets a bit tricky), there is a chance that the judge would allow us to adopt C instead of him going to the family who adopted his siblings. There are many reasons why, but basically it comes down to the fact that C has never had a relationship with those siblings, and to place him there would create a huge disruption in his life (removing him from us) and in those kids' lives too (having another kid thrown into the mix).

6.) There are WAY too many things that may or may not happen for us to know right now how this will end up. We don't think a whole lot about the future, we try to just live in the moment and enjoy C. Sometimes comments like "I hope he doesn't have to leave your family" or "He is so much better off with you guys" can trigger an emotional response. We don't like to think about those things, it makes us too sad.

A hike to donut falls...

So, just try to stick with us and live in the moment!! :) We are on the Lord's errand, and we feel incredibly fulfilled. We have purpose to our days. We have a tiny little life who, even temporarily, relies on us completely.

Most days I feel like I am doing everything wrong, and that I should and could be doing a lot better. I definitely get frustrated, cry, and wonder what the heck I'm doing. I wish that I more patient, that I knew how to respond better to things that seem completely foreign to me. And just when I'm starting to lose it and sit on the floor and cry, this sweet little guy will come crawling over to me, give me his biggest baby grin, and reach for me. Then I know, I'm doing alright. He loves me, he trusts me, and he is happy. I'm doing my best.

(seriously, I don't know what's up with the black bars on the sides of the pics...)

C may not stay in our home forever, but he will most definitely stay in our hearts forever. His pictures will never come off of our walls, he is a permanent fixture in our home.

"His time may not be our time, but He will always keep his promises" President Eyring

Utah State Fair...

Park City...

Fall Festival in Heber...

Adoption Charity

It's no secret how expensive adoption is.

Most infertile couples have two options when it comes to starting their family : IVF or Adoption. Over the past 5 years Mark and I have tried our hand at both adoption (private and with LDSFS) and IVF. Last year we did two rounds of IVF, with no success.

Today we are back in the adoption swing of things, and we are so excited! We've both decided that IVF is NOT something we ever want to go back to, and we love that we can focus all of our efforts on building our family through adoption.

Private adoptions done through a licensed adoption agency in the US will range from $15,00-$40,000+ (depending on a variety of factors including travel between states, attorney fees, and medical fees for the expectant mother and the baby). I wish that adoption wasn't so expensive...I wish that every deserving family could adopt a precious little baby with fees that were reasonable. I wish that medical costs related to adoption were covered by our health insurance. I wish that all employers offered an Adoption Assistance Program.

The down and dirty fact of the matter is this: ADOPTIVE FAMILIES ARE GOING INTO DEBT.

We don't want to go into debt, not if we don't have to. That is why we have spent the better part of the last few months begging for money from our family members LOL! Okay, maybe not begging, but we definitely asked. And today we are in a much better position (financially, money in the savings account) than we were 3 months ago.

But here's the thing...we still don't have enough.

I wish that we could sell our cars, shut off our cell phones, never watch TV, and eat ramen noodles every night until we have the money saved. But honestly, that's not realistic. We do our absolute best, but just like most of you reading this - we live paycheck to paycheck. Being a grown up sucks.

Alright, let me get to it already...we are fundraising. We had several hundred wristbands made (you now, the silicone ones...think "Livestrong") and we are going to be selling them.

They are red, and they have the wording "Adoption: Love Makes A Family" on them. They are going to be $5 each, or whatever you feel comfortable donating. There will be a page on our business website (advancehomefitness.com) where you can make the purchase using PayPal.

Our hope is that we can raise WAY more money that what we actually need to finish saving for our adoption. Our goal is to not only help ourselves, BUT TO HELP OTHER ADOPTIVE COUPLES. We want to donate the excess (not used by us for our adoption) to another financially needy adoptive couple.

SO, the page will be up and running on our website by the end of the day. The wristbands will be hand-delivered or mailed to you the week of August 6th.

{{AS OF 3:30 pm, THE WRISTBANDS ARE READY FOR PURCHASE!}}

http://www.advancehomefitness.com/Charitable-Causes.html

PLEASE please please go buy one. Or two. Or 50. haha

Thank you SO much, we love everyone who has helped us so much through this journey. XOXO

Nursery Craft Time!

Yes, it is true...we have a nursery. No baby. But we have a nursery.

We have the crib, and the dresser, and the glider...and now we have some super cute box shelves and a rocking chair! The shelves we had from before, they used to be in our guest room (but now we don't have a guest room because we have a nursery). The rocking chair was mine when I was very small...and Mark has been getting on me for months about doing something with it (or he wanted to throw it away! Ugh!). I had started to sand it down last summer and I was going to stain it dark, but then I realized that was a MUCH bigger task than I had originally planned. So it sat there...and sat there...and now here we are a year later and it was still sitting (wow, talk about procrastination). Finally I decided to paint it. Spray paint it. It was SO easy and literally took me like 10 minutes.

The box shelves were already black, I just used some painters tape to create a striped design on one and a chevron print on the other. Then spray painted. Let it dry and peeled the tape off! Bam!

I had the nursery made gender neutral to begin with, because the primary use of it was for foster care. We still don't know if we will end up adopting a boy or a girl, but we want to have a circus theme. So the colors we are going with are bright orange, yellow, lime green, and (depending on if we adopt a boy or a girl) blue or bright pink. So anyways, I painted the shelves yellow and the chair green. The gender-specific colors will come into play in the bumper (which Mark's mom is going to make for us), and a few things that we will hang on the walls.

Here are a few ideas that I've found on Pinterest...

Now, to find that baby! ;) xoxo

It's Confession Time...

Today I parked in the "Expectant Mother" parking spot at BuyBuyBaby.

I also purchased diapers. They smell like baby.

And wipes.

And onesies.

I *might* have a slight obsession with girl clothes.

Oh yeah, and a bottle. But just one.

There, I said it! I gotta be honest, it is kind of weird buying baby stuff. Especially when you don't have a baby. I feel like a weirdo. But then I remind myself that it needs to be done, and that I am indeed NOT a weirdo, because adoption can happen FAST. Take the situation we were presented with two weeks ago- that sweet little baby was presented to us on Wednesday and needed to come home on Friday. And had we adopted him, I would have been completely unprepared (we didn't have a car seat, diapers, nothing...). So here I am buying baby stuff (and fending off all of the employees who kept asking me if I was purchasing items for someone's registry...NO).

Anyways...to justify my parking spot I had a conversation with myself that went something like this..."Well it says 'Expectant Mother' and I am expectant...I'm just not EXPECTING." For the diapers, wipes, and bottle (just one bottle, because it's kind of the non-committal way of preparing)...I figured it would be best to have those on hand so that I don't have to feel like I need to rush to the store while we're on the way to the hospital to get the baby. And the onesies...well...mostly I just can't resist myself. LOL Don't worry, I kept the receipts so that I can return the girl stuff if we adopt a boy (and vice-versa).

Last week while my parents were visiting they also purchased the car seat we wanted! And here's another confession: I took the car seat out of the box and kept it in the living room for like 5 days simply because I like to look at it :) And here is a confession for Mark (ha!)...on multiple occasions he has pretended to pick up "the baby" out of the car seat all like "Aww little baby you're so cute" HAHAH I love it. He's the best.

Alright, confession time is over! I hope you don't think I'm a crazy lady now...

Spreading the Word: A How-To-Guide

We've been getting a lot of questions lately about how people should be spreading the word about Mark and I wanting to adopt. For example, let's say you have a friend who approaches you and says "I just found out I'm pregnant, and I'm think I am going to place the baby for adoption." Now what? What do you say? Where do you send them? Here is our How-To-Guide!

"My friend/co-worker/girl I know is pregnant"

1.) First, find out (gently and politely) if she is planning on, or even considering, placing the baby for adoption. If she is, then let her know that you know a couple who is looking to adopt. If she is not ready to talk about it (sometimes it is just too early to be thinking about something like that for an expectant mother...I know if it were me I'd be in complete shock and wouldn't even know what I was going to do. Anyways, give them a few weeks or a couple months to get more comfortable with the idea, then talk to them about it again).

**Expectant mothers who are looking to place their child for adoption do not have to work with an adoption agency (although it is an option)...if she finds an adoptive family on her own then the adoptive family would hire an attorney and they would complete all of the legalities that way.**

2.) You could let her know a bit about us, depending on how well you know us, and then suggest she look at our blog. Give her this link: mark-brittaltmyer.blogspot.com. She can look through all of our info, posts, and pics without feeling like she has to commit to anything.

3.) Then if she feels like she wants to contact us further, she can email us at balty06@me.com.

"I don't know anyone who is looking to place their baby for adoption, but I want to help spread the word!"

1.) Share our link on Facebook! This is the fastest and most efficient way of reaching out to your hundreds of FB friends (and if you have your friends also share the link, and so on and so on...then it really starts to spread!). When you share our blog link make sure that you say something like, "Hey! Check out my friend's blog. They are an awesome couple hoping to adopt."

2.) Spotlight us on your blog. If you have a blog, make a blog post about us and then share it on your Facebook page.

3.) Follow our blog. If you have a blog, you can follow our blog (the link is on the right hand side of our blog, I believe it says "Follow This Site") and then your blog friends will be more likely to check out our blog as well.

But most of all, just keep us in the back of your mind! That way if you ever hear of a situation, we will be the first people you think of! And when you do come across someone who is looking to place, send us a Facebook message, email, or text to let us know that you are sharing our info :)

Ready, set, go spread the word!

Adoption: A Birthday Surprise

Well it's been an interesting 24 hours in the Altmyer house! So today is my birthday (happy birthday to me! haha) and late yesterday afternoon we got a call from our agency...they had a baby. And he needed a home NOW.

So they sent us all the info they had - the mother's background info, her social/psychological evaluation, all 88 pages of the baby's medical records, info about the openness of the adoption, everything...oh yeah, and 3 precious little pictures. Yeah, go ahead and say it "Awwww!" ;)

He was the sweetest little boy...5 weeks old. He was born 8 weeks premature and is ready to go home this Friday...but he needed a family. He has a prefect tiny nose, flawless olive skin, and the most kissable little pout. Oh, he is so sweet.

Unfortunately the finances just didn't work out for this situation...if only we had a couple thousand more saved right now :( So we were scrambling for the last 24 hours trying everything we could to scrape together that couple thousand, but it just didn't fall into place for us.

While we were cautiously excited about this, we are not heartbroken that it didn't work out. We have faith that when the situation is right for us, then everything will fall into place to allow us to move forward. If we've done all that we can and it didn't work out, then it wasn't mean to be. And this sweet little boy will hopefully be with his new family by the end of the week.

I know that our time is coming soon, I can really feel it.

But what a fun little birthday surprise!

A Fun Day with Mr. J

So we got our first Foster Care call yesterday...but it was only for a one day respite. Even still, we were very excited! We got to spend the day with 9 month old Mr. J and he was SO sweet! All smiles and not shy at all. We had a great time snuggling on the couch watching Sesame Street, swimming with Melinda and Graham at our pool, and then taking a well deserved nap...followed by playing on the floor and reading a few books. We had a great time, but Mr. J was definitely happy to see his (foster) dad when he came to pick him up tonight! Hopefully we will get the chance to do this again sometime soon :)

Hey look! We actually got to use our crib! haha Mr. J thought it was comfy enough for a long nap...

{Our Adoption Profile 2012}

So I have never posted a "real" adoption profile on here, but rather have always used it almost like a diary of my rants and raves LOL But we do have a profile with A Act of Love (the private adoption agency we are listed with), and so I figured I'd go ahead and post that same profile on here...

MARK AND BRITTANY

HELLO!
The very first thing we would like to say to you is thank you! Thank you for taking the time to get to know us a little better. We admire your decision to consider adoption, and we hope that you find comfort and peace in your choices. We would love to have the opportunity to get to know you a little better, and we hope that we can be the “perfect fit” to parent your child.

ABOUT US
Mark and I met in high school. Mark was SUPER shy, but he slipped me a note with his phone number…and with his sweet personality and funny charm he managed to win me over! We dated for a couple of years, and then got married just before our 20th birthdays. People thought we were crazy! And we were (crazy in love, that is! Haha). Mark and I both worked full time at a University, and attended school full time as well. Mark working towards his Bachelor of Science in Management, and I was working on my Bachelor of Science in Multicultural Communication. Mark has worked in sales for the last 6 years, and I am currently a substitute teacher. We live in the suburbs of a large city, in a cute 2 bedroom condo. Our community has a really fun playground, a cool tree house, and a pool where Mark and I frequently go swimming. Most days we can be found relaxing at home, watching movies or playing board games. Our favorite board game is “Ticket To Ride”! Mark doesn’t like it when I beat him :) We enjoy taking our dog, Beamer, for walks in the evenings and we love to take early morning Saturday hikes in the mountains. We consider ourselves to be pretty laid back, and we really try our best to just enjoy life. Mark and I have been married for 6 years, and have struggled with infertility for the past 5 years. We have done multiple infertility treatments, all which were unsuccessful. We are very excited about the idea of building our family through adoption! Our marriage is built on a strong foundation of love, understanding, and complete honesty…and we would be honored to have the opportunity to raise your child in a home where they are free to be themselves, to laugh, to learn, and to love.



A BIT ABOUT BEAMER
Beamer is our 3 year old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. He is definitely one of the funniest and sweetest dogs you will ever meet. His favorite activities include napping, barking out the window, eating chewy sticks, and giving kisses. In fact, if you’re not careful he will lick you to death. He is super patient with kids…our nieces and nephews can pull his ears and poke his eyes and he won’t even flinch. He just wags his tail and smiles :)



ABOUT MARK, BY BRITTANY
Mark is so funny! He makes me laugh so much. He is fun, happy, trusting, super friendly, and he is my best friend. Anyone who knows Mark will say that he is honest and hardworking…and he will always go above and beyond any goal that is set for him. He simply does not know how to settle for second-best! Mark really enjoys doing “guy things” with our nephews…building things and playing sports. Mark loves to snowboard in the winter, and golf in the summer. One of his favorite hobbies is purchasing and playing with any and all Apple products (you can ask him anything about Apple and he will know the answer!). His favorite foods are oatmeal, chocolate milk, blueberry muffins, scones, strawberry crepes, pretty much any kind of casserole, and steak fajitas. His favorite restaurants are Café Rio (Mexican food), Buffalo Wild Wings (hot wings), and The Pie (pizza).



ABOUT BRITT, BY MARK
Brittany is caring, sweet, fun to be around, and smart! She loves to read, write on our blog, and bake. Baking is one of her most favorite things to do, and I definitely love to eat her baking. She likes to try lots of new recipes, and she likes to read other people’s cooking blogs. She really enjoys working at out the gym, taking our dog for walks, and laying out by the pool. She also takes care of our 1 year old nephew a couple of times a week (while Mark’s sister is working). He loves Brittany so much, he even calls her “Ma”! Brittany really loves spending time with him, reading books, and playing catch. I love that she is a great “mom” to him. Her favorite foods are mashed potatoes, hot wings and pizza (with LOTS of ranch dressing), bacon, pumpkin pancakes, and spaghetti with garlic bread. She also LOVES Coke. Never Pepsi! Her favorite restaurants are Taco Bell, Chipotle, Benihana’s (Japanese food), and The Pie (pizza).



OUR LIFESTYLE
Our lifestyle is active and relaxing. Our day-to-day life is pretty typical...but one thing that we really love to do is vacation. Every year we are sure to go on a cruise. We LOVE cruises. We have cruised to the Mexican Rivera three times, the Bahamas once, and most recently we cruised to Alaska! We really enjoy learning about other cultures, we love meeting new people, and we love the food on cruises! We plan on continuing our "cruise tradition" even after we have children. We also frequently go camping with Britt’s parents and Mark's parents...although it’s not “real” camping. They both have RVs, so it’s pretty comfy :) We all go camping together at least 3-4 times a year. Mark works very hard to financially provide for our family, so that we can live comfortably. We enjoy life, and are very excited to have a child to share it with us!







OUR FAMILY
Our family is #1 in our life. Mark has three older sisters and two older brothers. Two of his sisters live very close to us, and Britt is best friends with his sister Melinda. They do everything together! We usually have Sunday night dinner or game nights with his sisters and their families. Britt has two older sisters, one older brother, and one younger brother. Her oldest sister was like a second mother to her growing up, and her younger brother even spent a few months living with us while he was in college. Both of us talk to our parents on a weekly, if not daily basis…although they both live out of state so we are only able to see them every couple of months. Unlike most married couples, both Mark and Britt’s family get along GREAT. In fact, it is rare to have a family gathering where both sides of the family are not invited. Family gatherings usually consist of Mark’s dad chatting everyone’s ear off about his newest and coolest toy, Mark’s sisters planning every detail of every day, and all of the grandkids running around like crazy! Stressful? Sometimes. Totally fun? Always!





OUR HOME
We live in a cute, 2 bedroom condo in the suburbs of a large city. Our quiet neighborhood is well taken care of, with lots of green grass, trees, and with lots of kids playing outside!



HOW WE FEEL ABOUT ADOPTION
I guess adoption is something that has always been in Brittany's heart, even as a little girl she dreamed of one day adopting. We also have a few very close friends who have adopted all of their children, and we have been lucky enough to see the fantastic blessing that adoption has brought into their lives. Of course, simply being able to have a child is a blessing…but the blessing of Open Adoption is really what we have marveled at. To see that they have a continuous, healthy, loving relationship with the birth parents is really amazing. We love adoption, and we have such tremendous respect for birth parents. And our hope is that we will have the opportunity to have an Open Adoption where your child will always know who you are…where they came from…and how much you love them. We do not simply want a child in our life, but we want a family…and we want that family to include you as well.