Well, 2010 is coming to a close and it has been interesting to see how far we have come! When we ended 2009 and started 2010 we had hopes of adopting, and even had a birth mother that we had talked to a little bit. When that didn’t work out we decided that adoption still wasn’t the right path for us and we again refocused ourselves on saving for IVF.
The beginning of 2010 we felt like IVF was still years away, considering how much we would have to save....until last month I was sitting at work and I got an email from Mark’s sister Melinda. She gave me the name of a doctor in Utah, some of her coworkers had gone to see him for IVF and she thought I might want to look into the same clinic. I didn’t know it at the time, but that email would be the BEST email I have ever received.
Dr. Richards and Dr. Marrs are world renowned doctors in reproductive endocrinology and infertility. Dr. Marrs is primarily located in California- working at the Cedars Sinai medical center (the clinic we will be going to is in American Fork, Utah), and he made medical history in 1986 by initiating the world’s first IVF baby from a frozen embryo....he also wrote the book Dr. Marrs’ Fertility Book. He is one of the world’s leading fertility experts, and we are very privileged to have the opportunity to have him (and Dr. Richards) perform our IVF.
After looking over their website I submitted a request to have them contact me. Literally 3 minutes later I received a call from Dr. Richards who spent an hour right then doing a phone consultation with me. Let me tell you- that is completely unheard of! In our experience with other IVF clinics it usually takes days just to have the receptionist email you something generic where you are required to schedule an appointment and pay to have a consultation with the doctor. Dr. Richards was so warm and friendly, immediately taking a personal interest in me and Mark. I got off the phone with such energy...this is going to be possible!!
Dr. Richards and Dr. Marrs have dedicated their work to making IVF affordable for anyone. Because of that, they have built an office where they are able to complete every procedure associated with IVF (meaning no visits to the hospital) right there- this saves the patient thousands of dollars. With the cost of IVF suddenly cut in half we realized that we were suddenly VERY CLOSE to our dream!
By then end of December 2010 we will have every penny saved. OH. MY. GOSH. We are there!!! We will be doing our IVF sometime between April and June 2011...we would do it sooner, like February 2011, but we are celebrating our 5th anniversary in March (going on a cruise!!!) and we don’t want to have to worry about me possibly being pregnant.
So anywho, here we are 4 years from the time that we started trying and our goal is finally within our reach. We are really excited, and so grateful for all of the love and support (both moral and financial support...thank you again to all those who came to my party! :) from our friends and family. We cannot wait until the day we can share our happy news with all of you! Here’s to 2011 being the BEST New Year! <3
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Love my sisters!
Today I am filled with the love of my family. I feel inclined to write about how grateful I am to have such a wonderful family. A family who doesn’t pass judgment, doesn’t ask questions, just jumps into action to support Mark and I. And I am especially grateful today for my awesome sister-in-laws.
Recently Mark was promoted to Enrollment Manager, which means that he no longer gets paid overtime (he’s on salary now) and so our saving ability has been severely stifled. In fact, we have to pull money out of our savings account every month. Obviously this is counter-productive to our mission of saving for our baby! So we are putting some big changes into place in regards to how we spend, in an effort to save more.
However, in the meantime Mark’s sisters let us in on a little secret that they have been coming up with creative ways to help us raise money! They are so sweet :) This weekend Michelle planned a Stella and Dot jewelry party for me! We had the party at our house and I invited a few friends, we had some yummy treats and played dress up with all the fancy jewelry! It was SO FUN! I felt so blessed to have great friends who, while on a budget (aren’t we all on a budget?!), still made every effort possible to buy something from the party. All of the earnings from the party are being donated to our baby fund. I love Michelle for doing this for us, and I love my friends for being so supportive.
Thank you to my awesome family- you are the best! And thank you to my amazing friends- I love you!
Recently Mark was promoted to Enrollment Manager, which means that he no longer gets paid overtime (he’s on salary now) and so our saving ability has been severely stifled. In fact, we have to pull money out of our savings account every month. Obviously this is counter-productive to our mission of saving for our baby! So we are putting some big changes into place in regards to how we spend, in an effort to save more.
However, in the meantime Mark’s sisters let us in on a little secret that they have been coming up with creative ways to help us raise money! They are so sweet :) This weekend Michelle planned a Stella and Dot jewelry party for me! We had the party at our house and I invited a few friends, we had some yummy treats and played dress up with all the fancy jewelry! It was SO FUN! I felt so blessed to have great friends who, while on a budget (aren’t we all on a budget?!), still made every effort possible to buy something from the party. All of the earnings from the party are being donated to our baby fund. I love Michelle for doing this for us, and I love my friends for being so supportive.
Thank you to my awesome family- you are the best! And thank you to my amazing friends- I love you!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Sweet Dreams
My favorite part of the day is laying down in bed and falling asleep...because my dreams are the only place where all my wishes come true. Not a week goes by without dreaming of my baby. While I hate to wake up to the reality that it was only a dream, I love to be in those dreams because they feel so real. Sometimes I dream that I'm pregnant, sometimes I dream that I already have my baby. Last night I already had my baby...a little girl all curled up in my arms. I'm happy that it was a girl this time, because it's almost always a boy :) It was the most perfect dream...just me and my baby girl. I love those dreams. Even though I wake up with my arms (literally) aching from the loss of my baby, I also wake up with renewed energy and hope. My dreams keep me going, reminding me what it is that we are struggling for. So today I am thankful to my Heavenly Father for dreams.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Dear Diary....
Its been a while since my last attempt at Blogging. Honestly, I’ve just been keeping myself distracted with work, school, friends…anything really. Anything to keep my mind off the always pressing issue of having a baby. But guess what?! I HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS! Oh wait- no I don’t. haha Got your hopes up just a little bit didn’t I? Well now you know how it feels :)
Yes, here we are three years from that first negative test…and I am yet again staring at that unsightly “Not Pregnant” on my Clearblue test. I hate those words. Hate them with a passion…yet somehow we have developed a strong relationship over the past few years. Not Pregnant must really like me…because he just won’t leave me alone. The hopes of my “almost baby” are crushed time and time again. So what do I do when I finally get to that breaking point? I blog. It’s all I really can do to get it all out there- all this raw emotion that I don’t tell anyone about. I don’t like being the victim, and I don’t ever want to burden other people with my woes….I mean, c’mon, we all have something to complain about so I’m sure I don’t have it the worst. So anyways, I use my blog like a diary- expect I share it with all of you! Who knows…maybe someone actually finds this interesting. Even if no one ever reads it, it doesn’t matter. I’m doing this for me- for my sanity.
I try my very hardest every second of every day to just let it go….just relax…just pretend like I don’t care…like I’d rather have my big house and new car and fancy job….but we all know that’s a lie. I would give all of it up in a heartbeat if it meant I could carry a precious little life inside of me. To have a family. Not that I don’t love my life, because I do! I love my hubby so much- I love how supportive he is of me and how hard he works for our family. But (and he would agree with this statement) …our family just isn’t complete. Not yet. We long to see my big pregnant belly…to feel our little gift from Heaven move inside me…to see its squishy pink face…to smell him (or her I guess)…to wake up every hour all night long just to be able to comfort our crying baby…to clean up baby poop and throw up…but most of all to see them grow and learn and become their own person. That’s all we want. But instead we have to deal with the anxiety of the one-week-wait…”Am I? Am I not?” I become obessessive really. I can’t think about a single other thing between Day 28 and the day Mother Nature decides to grace me with her presense. I think about the empty room next to ours- I picture the crib and the rocking chair, I think of all the names we have picked out (seriously, we have like 20 names all ready to go! LOL).
Anyway. Its been more than a year since we did our IUI and started our adoption processes – both of which failed miserably. Since then I have seen a handfull of good friends get pregnant, have their babies, and I am truly envious. I am happy for them (really, I really am). That is one think I have learned in the past three years- how to honestly be happy for those who deserve it. I just wonder when it will be my time…and in the meantime I take care of my dog and husband like they are my children :) haha What are you gonna do…not much we can do. We save (and save and save and save and save…..), but jeezs it sure does take a long time to save $15-20,000. Wouldn’t it be nice if once we have the $20,000 saved up then – POW! Prego! Wishful thinking I know….but a girl can dream.
Yes, here we are three years from that first negative test…and I am yet again staring at that unsightly “Not Pregnant” on my Clearblue test. I hate those words. Hate them with a passion…yet somehow we have developed a strong relationship over the past few years. Not Pregnant must really like me…because he just won’t leave me alone. The hopes of my “almost baby” are crushed time and time again. So what do I do when I finally get to that breaking point? I blog. It’s all I really can do to get it all out there- all this raw emotion that I don’t tell anyone about. I don’t like being the victim, and I don’t ever want to burden other people with my woes….I mean, c’mon, we all have something to complain about so I’m sure I don’t have it the worst. So anyways, I use my blog like a diary- expect I share it with all of you! Who knows…maybe someone actually finds this interesting. Even if no one ever reads it, it doesn’t matter. I’m doing this for me- for my sanity.
I try my very hardest every second of every day to just let it go….just relax…just pretend like I don’t care…like I’d rather have my big house and new car and fancy job….but we all know that’s a lie. I would give all of it up in a heartbeat if it meant I could carry a precious little life inside of me. To have a family. Not that I don’t love my life, because I do! I love my hubby so much- I love how supportive he is of me and how hard he works for our family. But (and he would agree with this statement) …our family just isn’t complete. Not yet. We long to see my big pregnant belly…to feel our little gift from Heaven move inside me…to see its squishy pink face…to smell him (or her I guess)…to wake up every hour all night long just to be able to comfort our crying baby…to clean up baby poop and throw up…but most of all to see them grow and learn and become their own person. That’s all we want. But instead we have to deal with the anxiety of the one-week-wait…”Am I? Am I not?” I become obessessive really. I can’t think about a single other thing between Day 28 and the day Mother Nature decides to grace me with her presense. I think about the empty room next to ours- I picture the crib and the rocking chair, I think of all the names we have picked out (seriously, we have like 20 names all ready to go! LOL).
Anyway. Its been more than a year since we did our IUI and started our adoption processes – both of which failed miserably. Since then I have seen a handfull of good friends get pregnant, have their babies, and I am truly envious. I am happy for them (really, I really am). That is one think I have learned in the past three years- how to honestly be happy for those who deserve it. I just wonder when it will be my time…and in the meantime I take care of my dog and husband like they are my children :) haha What are you gonna do…not much we can do. We save (and save and save and save and save…..), but jeezs it sure does take a long time to save $15-20,000. Wouldn’t it be nice if once we have the $20,000 saved up then – POW! Prego! Wishful thinking I know….but a girl can dream.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
{{ Brief Baby Update }}
Now for just a brief update...
The adoption side of things, well, it's just not going all that well. Any prospects we did have, we no longer have. Things seem to change so quickly- we just never know what is around the corner. We have been praying for years now to try and get some direction with all of this, but nothing ever appears to be 100% clear.
While we were on vacation for Christmas Melinda (Mark's sister) suggested we look outside of Arizona at costs of IVF, apparently she had a friend who went out of state and was able to get a much more reasonable price. Realistically, the costs of adoption and IVF are very close...but we were able to find out that the costs of adoption in California are MUCH less than Arizona. We also happened to know someone in our ward who just got pregnant through IVF with a local clinic. So we met with that clinic last week, and found out we can get a few rounds of IVF for about $17,000. Since there is no gaurantee that I would get pregnant on the first try, it would make sense to buy more of a package deal which would save us money in the end.
We still haven't made any for sure plans with the IVF...and we don't really have anything going on with the adoption....so there isn't much to update. We will have at least another year of saving before we have enough money for either.
I'm just looking forward to 2010, and praying for a miracle :o)
The adoption side of things, well, it's just not going all that well. Any prospects we did have, we no longer have. Things seem to change so quickly- we just never know what is around the corner. We have been praying for years now to try and get some direction with all of this, but nothing ever appears to be 100% clear.
While we were on vacation for Christmas Melinda (Mark's sister) suggested we look outside of Arizona at costs of IVF, apparently she had a friend who went out of state and was able to get a much more reasonable price. Realistically, the costs of adoption and IVF are very close...but we were able to find out that the costs of adoption in California are MUCH less than Arizona. We also happened to know someone in our ward who just got pregnant through IVF with a local clinic. So we met with that clinic last week, and found out we can get a few rounds of IVF for about $17,000. Since there is no gaurantee that I would get pregnant on the first try, it would make sense to buy more of a package deal which would save us money in the end.
We still haven't made any for sure plans with the IVF...and we don't really have anything going on with the adoption....so there isn't much to update. We will have at least another year of saving before we have enough money for either.
I'm just looking forward to 2010, and praying for a miracle :o)
Christmas Eve...
On Christmas Eve Jaidyn and Rowen wrote a letter to Santa and put out some milk, cookies, and carrots for the reindeer!
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