National Infertility Awareness Week 2012

This is National Infertility Awareness Week, and just like last year I am posting to help increase awareness!

 http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/home-page.html

To be honest, I simply didn't have the energy to dive into my own personal feelings this week, so when I saw my dear friend post about her feelings on her own blog I decided to steal it :) Her words mirror my feelings exactly, and I know she won't mind me sharing. I'll let her remain anonymous, unless she tells me otherwise! This is what she had to say...

"...Take your pick from phrasing - I'm living with infertility, I suffer from infertility, I have infertility - however you want to say it, infertility is not something that is dealt/coped with once and is over.

Like an antibiotic resistant super bug it finds ways to attack you even when you're feeling "fine." I won't sit here and rehash with you the dramatic memories and episodes my initial bout with infertility caused me... But I did want to tell you about how infertility effects me today. I wanted to tell you that adopting a child does not cure infertility. It cures childlessness and brings a great deal of healing, but infertility is it's own separate issue that needs to be addressed accordingly and continuously.

 ...sometimes [you] have "flare ups" that remind you of your pain. It's not something that is easily ignored, no matter how blessed and happy you are. I can say with full honesty that I would not in a million years change a thing about our experiences. I am so grateful for my infertility... And if we can only ever build our family through adoption and foster care - hey, that's seriously fine by me! But there have been times (and will likely be more) when a woman walks by me with a swollen belly, or a friend announces her pregnancy, or I see a woman breastfeed her new baby, that my hand will dart to my barren belly and wish.... wonder..... what if? And in an instant feelings of intense maternal desire and grieving loss will rush through me for the millionth time. Again I'm back to wishing I could feel those tiny feet kick inside me. Wishing I could give my husband a son that looked like him. Wishing I could be that co-creator with God in bringing a little spirit to this earth. All the while knowing that if I were given that chance I would praise every stretch mark and every day of morning sickness for eternity.

But again.......

I am infertile.

The realization of those dreams will likely never come to pass. As I said earlier, really, in the grand scheme of things I am truly OK with that. But I have my moments of weakness. So I guess that's what I'm trying to tell you. That I love adoption and foster care with unbridled passion. That I am grateful every day that we are blessed to walk those paths. But that I still hurt because of infertility. That infertility is a wound that, even after healing, leaves you viciously scarred. Judge me for what I've said, if you'd like. But this is the reality of my situation and the situation of millions like me.

Now, I don't want your pity. This is not a "hard luck" story. It's just a story. My story. And I'm damn proud of my story."

Utah Foster Care

 Okay so it's time for an update. We have been approved and licensed to be Utah Foster Parents! We took two, 4 hour classes every week for a month...then prepared our condo for the home study...the had the home study...our home study was finally sent to a committee where they reviewed our file and determined that we would be good resource parents for the state!

The classes were awesome, taught by the fabulous Liz Rivera (here's an article about her! http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=441&sid=19008668). We just love Liz, I feel like she is part of our family now :) She is smart, kind, caring, generous, and most importantly dedicated. She taught us so much. To ready our condo we were required to purchase things like fire extinguishers, baby gates, fist aid kits, cabinet locks...we had to make sure all of our chemicals and medications were locked, have emergency phone numbers in our home and cars, lock up our firearms and power tools...basically make our house 10 times safer than any normal person's home LOL

We got the "kid's room", as we are calling it now, all ready with a crib and a twin bed, dresser, glider, shelves, books, etc. Just the basics. But we haven't bought any clothing items. I've thought about it, like just getting one pair of pjs and one outfit, just to be sure that if we have a placement on super short notice that we will have something. But that would mean buying those items for both male and female and for every age from newborn to 8 years old. So I decided against it :) We'll just wait for a placement first.

So now we are all ready to go, and it's just a waiting game! We likely won't have any placements until at least the middle of May, because we have a cruise scheduled for the first week of May. And we would hate to create more disruption for the child by taking the placement, and then having them go to respite care (something similar to daycare, but specifically for children in foster care) while we are gone. The goal is to have the child in a consistent, loving, and stable home - and putting them in respite so soon after having them placed with us would likely create unnecessary additional stress for the child. Sooo, basically we hope to have a placement this summer! :)

My next update will probably be once we have a placement. So just a few things to keep in mind

1.) The safety and privacy of the child are #1, so you will never see me post a pic of his/her face.
2.) I will never use his/her real name on this blog or Facebook - I will always use a nickname of some kind.
3.) If you come to check out my blog and find that it has been made private, please send me a request to add you! I will only change it to private if I feel like the child's safety and privacy have been compromised.

I hope I'm back sooner, rather than later, with a new update! Until then...